This movie is available on DVD!

Der Alte Kardinal

A Nunsploitation.Net review

Der Alte Kardinal represents a solid effort to produce something innovative and creative in the nunerotica genre. It stands out for appealing to several different fetishes -- some of them a bit unusual. The torrid sex scenes (of which there are many) are tied together through a solid story with an ending torn from the pages of a nunsploitation classic.

The old cardinal is getting close to retirement. A hotshot young monsignor is recruited to take his place. However, he is sent with another agenda. The cardinal is known for fooling around with the ladies. He even ended up getting a nun pregnant. The monsignor is sent to restore morality to the cloister. What no one knows is that the monsignor is an even greater lecher than the old cardinal ever was!

On the day of his appointment, a car is sent for the monsignor. Sister Raphaela escorts him and he immediately seduces her in the backseat of the limo. Sister Raphaela is just plain hot. She has ample breasts that swing seductively under her nun robes. They are large and full and 100% natural -- a refreshing change of pace from the silicone-packed starlets of much of today's porn.

As the monsignor is porking Sister Raphaela in the car, the Cardinal comes to greet him only to catch them in the act! This scene is the first use of the split camera effect that we will see throughout the film. Fans of the TV series 24 are probably well used to this by now.

Unfortunately, the people who made Der Alte Kardinal aren't quite as good at it as the people who make 24 . The scenes are abrupt and jarring. In this case, the monsignor is getting ready to cream all over Sister Raphaela's pussy when the split screen starts. It spoils one of the best cum shots of the feature.

In the next scene, Brother Laurence, a monk, welcomes the Monsignor and introduces him to his new assistant, Sister Ursula. They greet each other warmly and the the Monsignor says to her, "You may begin." Sister Ursula knows exactly what to do as she unzips his pants and begins sucking on his cock!

He takes her in a number of different positions, often with her on top. She gets it in the pussy and up the ass. In fact, Sister Ursula takes it up the ass in the bulk of this sex scene!

The performer who plays Sister Ursula is not the prettiest. She's a bit bucktoothed which detracts slightly from her attractiveness. She has a couple of distracting tattoos. I guess this can't be helped, but why is she also wearing a belly button piercing? I found this to be terribly distracting. She's supposed to be a nun, after all!

This is the first of many outdoor scenes. Much of this film seems to have been shot on a ranch. There are horses in the background. Unfortunately, along with the horses come the horseflies. They're not too bad in this scene, but they'll get worse later on.

Next, the Monsignor meets the convent's prudish Mother Superior. Brother Laurence had complained earlier about how conservative she is. The Mother Superior sees the Monsignor as the herald of a new era of morality at the cloister. She quickly disparages the Cardinal and tells the Monsignor about the Cardinal's affair with Sister Maria and his illegitimate child. She introduces him to another nun who, confusingly enough, is also named Sister Maria. For the sake of clarity, I'll call her Sister Maria II.

The Mother Superior leaves and the Monsignor and Brother Laurence have there way with Sister Maria II. First she sucks both their cocks, sometimes taking both cocks in her mouth at once (though only briefly). The she rides Brother Laurence and sucks the Monsignor.

They stay in this position for a while, then during a close up, Brother Laurence pulls his cock out of her pussy and tries with some effort to penetrate her sphincter. It takes a bit of work, but he does it and he she rides him with his cock in her ass.

Of course, the brief ass fucking is just preparation for the next scene -- the double penetration. Sister Maria II takes the Monsignor in her pussy while Brother Laurence pounds her ass! Finally, they both cum on her chest.

Now, here's where the movie gets strange. The Mother Superior sends a nun to tend to the ailing cardinal. This young nun is named (just in case you're not confused by now) Sister Maria! But she clearly is not the same performer as Sister Maria II! I'm forced to refer to her as Sister Maria III just so we can keep track of them!

The Mother Superior adds something suspicious to the Cardinal's drink and Sister Maria III serves it. Is it poison? Now that the Monsignor is ready to take over, is the Mother Superior going to kill the lecherous Cardinal just to get rid of him?

As he downs the sinister brew, the Cardinal thinks back to his earlier indiscretion and we flashback to a young cardinal (played by another performer). Sister Maria (the first one) is pregnant, but that doesn't stop the two of them from getting it on!

This scene takes place in a horse carriage of all places! This is another outdoor scene and the horseflies do start to get distracting, buzzing on the performers during the scene, especially toward the end.

I thought the pregnant sex scene would really turn me on, but for some reason, I found it to be uninteresting. Sister Maria is a solid cock sucker and the young cardinal (now a monk, although monks can't become cardinals.... but who cares about reality?) is well endowed.

After a brief blow job, he takes her pussy. Soon, her top comes off and we see her swollen breasts with their massive, dark areolae. The young cardinal takes Sister Maria up the ass and he spends a solid portion of this scene ass fucking the pregnant nun. Then he quickly pulls out of her ass for a disappointingly weak cum shot.

Flash forward to the present and the old Cardinal is in bed, his labored breathing is noticeably audible. Then, in the sexiest scene in the movie, Sister Maria III drops her robes. Her gorgeous tight ass is framed beautifully in the soft light of the darkened room. She pulls down the sheets and begins sucking the old man's cock.

If you like old man/young girl pairings, this scene is fantastic. The Cardinal is shocked that he is still capable of maintaining a hardon. Did the Mother Superior slip a sex enhancing drug into his nightcap? Sister Maria III sucks him to full erection, then rides his throbbing cock. Soon, the Cardinal is groping her and demanding her tongue.

They switch positions and the Cardinal takes charge, giving Sister Maria III a merciless pounding. He gropes her breasts, tongues her mouth and pounds her pussy, slamming his swollen shaft into her again and again. Finally, he cums on her with a much more impressive wad than the performer who played his younger self.

The performer who plays the old Cardinal is a significantly older man. He's almost bald with gray, almost white hair. Yet, he gives an impressive, energetic performance. His cum shot is just as good as anyone else's in this film. Better than some.

So what the fuck just happened? Did the prude Mother Superior slip the Cardinal some Viagra? Why would she do that? Well, to confuse you even more, in this next scene she hands two nuns over to two monks for sex. At first it seems like she just wants the monks to show the new nuns around, but they clearly undress in front of the Mother Superior who pays them no mind at all. Whatever. It's porn.

Now in this scene, we have Brother Laurence, a new monk, Brother Paulus, Sister Raphaela from the first scene in the limo and a new transfer from the Asian branch office, Sister Mei Ling.

The performer who plays Sister Mei Ling is tiny. Brother Paulus towers over her and when she stands side by side with Sister Raphaela, the size difference is drastic! Don't let her size fool you! She'll be taking most of the cock in this scene.

First Paulus and Laurence take each nun separately in the pussy. Then, Paulus takes Sister Mei Ling up the ass. Again, this is just a warm up. It's not long before Sister Mei Ling has one monk in her pussy and the other monk up her ass. Sister Raphaela gets in a few lesbo kisses.

Although Sister Mei Ling takes most of the cock, the two monks pull out of her to give Sister Raphaela the pearl necklace.

By now, the Cardinal is feeling fit and dandy. Nuns attend to him like harem girls. The Monsignor confronts him and demands that he step aside to make way for a new cardinal. The Cardinal stubbornly refuses. Hey, he wants to get laid too. Then the Monsignor unveils his secret weapon and gives the Cardinal news so shocking, he dies from a heart attack!

I don't want to spoil the ending, but fans will recognize this exact same scene from the Japanese nunsploitation classic School of the Holy Beast.

An extraneous sex scene is thrown in at this point with Brother Laurence and an unamed nun we've not seen yet. At first I thought it was Sister Maria II, but no, it's not the same performer. This scene also includes a mighty sphincter-breaking anal.

This is another outdoor scene. I was wearing headphones watching this and the horseflies were out in force. It sounded like they were buzzing around my head and it was really annoying.

With the cardinal dead, Brother Laurence asks the Monsignor if he has a plan for the misfit Mother Superior. Yes, he does! "Forget about it..." and that's it. He pretty much just says "Oh, nevermind" and the movie sort of ends.

I would have loved to have seen the Monsignor expose himself to the Mother Superior and seduce her through sex the same way the Mother Superior in Die Scheinheiligen was seduced. The Mother Superior is older, but we've already had an old man/young girl scene. I would have liked an old woman/young man pairing.

Der Alte Kardinal does a good job at portraying sexy nuns. In addition to the nun fetish, you've got a pregnant nun, an old man/young girl scene, a foursome, two double penetration scenes, lots of anal sex and some inter-racial scenes with an Asian nun. So the movie has a lot to offer. Sadly, the story is disjointed and a bit confusing (three nuns named Maria???). Just whose side is the Mother Superior on anyway?

The sets were also cheap. The outdoor scenes had problems with flies and lighting. There were some lighting problems with the indoor scenes too. In the foursome, it looked like there was light from a venetian blind on the actors creating a very distracting effect.

For a nun porn with a lot to offer, I have a hard time getting past all of these shortcomings. I do have to admit, the sex was fantastic. Sister Raphaela is my favorite with her beautiful breasts and that sexy librarian look she has going with those glasses. All of the nuns were great. The sex scene with the Cardinal and Sister Maria III was simply outstanding.

Alte Kardinale is definitely worth checking out. It's a solid effort and will sure to please fetishists of all types!

Return to Der Alte Kardinal main page

This movie is available on DVD!